A man came to a temple to consult the Buddha. He was haggard, unkempt and miserable.
“What is wrong?” asked the Buddha
“My girlfriend left me for another man.”
“Why would she do that?”
“I don’t know!” cried the man. “I went out with her, bought her gifts, looked after her when she was ill and even ran errands for her. I treated her like a princess.”
“But did you do all those things without expecting anything in return?” asked the Buddha.
“If she wasn’t committed, then she shouldn’t have led me on.”
“Absolutely, but that’s her problem. What was your goal and intention in this whole game? Men are known to splurge on gold and jewels, fight wars and build palaces to capture the hearts of women they fancy. You did all those things to capture her heart, didn’t you?”
“Yes…”
“She didn’t fall into your “trap”. You failed to capture her. Unknowingly and ironically, you have ended up trapping yourself in misery. Free yourself and move on.”
Dewdrop Books – Fiction and non-fiction with a focus on the colourful and exotic Asian realm. Check out our titles.
Time heals all wounds. All tears will dry up, one way or another. I avoided the pain you brought. Soon, I can even joke about how we broke up. I’ve been so happy for you. we’ve been through thick and thin, I’ve embraced you, depended on you. I thought I couldn’t let go. I thought I would break down, but it was at the most painful moment that I gained clarity.
The pain is still very much alive – in the past. The forever we’ve lost stays in my heart forever. Can it really come to pass? Are the lies that others tell us worse than the lies we tell ourselves? It takes a second to fall in love but a lifetime to get over it.
Below is another song that has a similar theme. It’s much older and dates from 1993. Meeting up with old friends ought to be a pleasant or even delightful experience. But it could it also be a painful thing, especially if you’re keeping a secret, especially when you miss someone more than friends miss friends and especially when that someone rubs it in and asks you how you’ve been.
不要問我過得好不好 was actually written by 周治平 and not 刚泽斌 as indicated in the video.
There is a cuter version of the same song by then child star 吴淑敏. Of course, the 15-year-old 吴淑敏’s vocals were not as accomplished as Nanfang’s, but she gave the song the unique flavour of a precocious teenager’s pain. She later made her mark in the Hokkien music scene, earning her great success. Born in 1981, she is currently 38.
https://youtu.be/GaTbzYfvxs4
In this case of 不要問我過得好不好, the protagonist is saying “do you need to ask?”. It’s obviously not meant to be said aloud, making it a sad, squandered situation. The lucky guy doesn’t know.
Talking about first loves, Fish Leong has another song that expresses regret on the part of the one who didn’t know that she was being loved. Could things have turned out differently if she had known?
Perhaps she wept because she sudden realised and felt his pain back then. But is he still feeling the pain? Had he moved on and found happiness with someone else? If she is happy in her current situation, why should she regret or even bother to feel sorry for her lovelorn classmate?
Perhaps as the first song says, all will come to pass.
Dewdrop Books – Fiction and non-fiction with a focus on the colourful and exotic Asian realm. Check out our titles.